Goose Acres

Wow a very hard day with my fast. 4 days to go and I was close to loosing it!!

I had ask Mike to church and felt a little sad when he didn't show. I ask Lissa and Bo for lunch just to take some of the burden off of coming home and him just being here....doing nothing! Lissa and Bo couldn't make it......so I ask......the preacher and his wife! I love them! And I knew they would not feel any real hard atmosphere in the home from Mike if he got mad. Then they agreed to come. It was great. Mike got to talk about the good things his Dad had done, and we had a wonderful after dinner discussion on upcoming things in the church and our parents. It was great to have them over. And the preacher had seconds on his bean soup! Go Me! Maybe if Mike won't come to church......we can bring the church to him. Like he wouldn't soon rebel again that! Anyway, maybe some seeds were sown for him to join us one day!

After lunch, cleaning up the dishes...........I sure wanted one of those leftover cheese biscuits.......didn't' eat one...........like anyone would really have know..............except me and God........and......I fed them all to Savannah!! Whew - really hard!! Then wanted something sweet so bad. Ya' know, when the pressure of guest over for lunch is gone, kinda settle back and relax....and eat something sweet. Clean out the fridge eating!!! Wow really felt it today! But I got me an apple, then some peanut butter, then a banana, with some more peanut butter. I did stop (had to take Katharyn to church.) The youth had frozen pizza which I do eat......but didn't even want tonight....pizza after peanut butter...YUK even for me. I drank me some water!!! Go Me!!

So the fast is still on for these last 4 days! I can do it!! Praising my God through it all!!

Malto Meal
Bean soup
Salad
FF dressing
Apple
Banana
Peanut Butter!

What a good day!! Nothing on the agenda except a church party tonight. Stayed in my pajamas until noon. Washed a few clothes, started some soup for the party, clogged a little, went and did a little shopping, cleaned up some piles of stuff around here. No pressure, very relaxed. Didn't start that way though.
I woke up at 5:11 and thought I had forgot to set my alarm. Then I realized Mike was still in the bed. I woke him up....."Mike it's 5:11" no answer.....then it hit me...."Oh crap.....it's Saturday, I am so sorry."
Not the best way to wake up.....I did fall back to sleep even though I felt a little foolish! I don't think I have ever done that to such completion before!
Yea Me!! I didn't have any meat, bread or sweets at the party. I remembered what some book had told me and focused on the company and the fellowship instead of the food! There was plenty of fruits and veggies. I know the sweet potato dish had sugar in it and there was a little bit of ham in the bean I ate. But I picked out most of it. Go Me!
There was a time of revelation today........Sitting thinking and staring at the fire with my coffee, I felt a sudden rush of joy because we would soon be starting our new house. It felt very real and it had to be one of those God things. Almost jumped for joy at the blessing I had received! God is with me and knows our hearts. The new house may be the thing that gets Mike closer to us and further away from his drinking.
It was a Great Revelation for me. Thank you God!

Malto Meal
Banana
Carrot sticks
Fruit Salad
Green Bean Casserole
Cole Slaw
Sweet Potato Casserole
Bean Soup

OK - today was very hard!! Another headache greeted me, but it wasn't bad at first....so I waited until 9:00 to take something for it. I was very hungry and the Tylenol really hurt my stomach. So I began to feel even worse. The headache finally eased only to leave me a little disoriented...not good for working at a pharmacy. I kept thinking that something to eat would help so much, but Chuck Hopson was visiting the pharmacy with lots of people around and I waited until 12:30 to eat my soup. By then I was not good at all. Lunch didn't seem to help much and left feeling really sure that one of the donuts that Chuck left behind would do the trick. I could really taste their sweetness and feel the softness in my mouth! It was torture. But I made it! The devil didn't get me today.
Snacking when I get home has always been my Ackeles heel and today was pretty hard. I got my banana, then ate another one. Still wanting to snack I grabbed a bag of trail mix that I didn't eat Sunday and ate that. The trail mix killed my points for Weight Watchers, but it did settle my stomach and help my headache. After a small nap, I've been good to go! Those headaches have really been bad this winter...........last winter they didn't bother me at all.........I don't know why the difference, but I've had one every other week it seems lately. Once one settles in it take 2 or 3 days to get rid of it. Quite a bother.
Getting very cold outside, but we have little to do tomorrow, so we're good. A birthday party at the church will add some challenges, but also some good veggies. I'll have to watch the sweets, it may be hard. We will see.
Praying for my fasting hasn't gone too good either. When my head hurts I don't feel much like searching for things to pray about. But I'll pray again later. Maybe I should make an effort to pray for those darn headaches.
So Glad it's Friday!!

Malto Meal
Split Pea Soup
Banana 2
Trail mix (lots of points)
v-8 juice
French Fries

Today has been a different day. Not feeling that well at all, and needing some food. I was really seriously eyeing Misty's Subway sandwich with a longing that was real and intent!! I could feel the bread in my mouth and savor softness of it! That was strange, I don't think I have ever fantasized about bread before! Of course I didn't give in, I stayed strong and ate my delicious split pea soup!

Looked forward to clogging again finally for the first time this year. We had a great time learning 2 songs. It felt really good to get back with my friends there.

Found some more muscles that I don't use. Some lateral abs that showed up as I tried new exercises Wednesday. These muscles seem to help you walk, because walking is strange. My balance is all messed up. It's good to find these muscles! I'll keep up those exercises so that I can get that part of me in shape. Didn't know I had any I had missed lately......I haven't been that sore, so I thought I was over all of it. Wrong!!

TGTIF Thank God tomorrow is Friday......bad weather coming.....that spells lazy!!!!

Malto Meal
Split Pea Soup
Banana
Baked Sweet Potato
veggies - green beans and potatoes.

The Lord laid it upon my heart to pull closer to scripture and find some peace there. My struggle is if I am praying for the right thing.....to bring my husband closer to us and to God, and to find an end to this drinking he does. Well, I also realize that my reality of the situation may be wrong, and if that is true than to help me see this and to overcome. So today I grabbed my bible as I ran out the door and turned to a story in the old testament;

Joshua 23; Now, stay strong and steady. Obediently do everything written in the Book of The Revelation of Moses—don't miss a detail. Don't get mixed up with the nations that are still around. Don't so much as speak the names of their gods or swear by them. And by all means don't worship or pray to them. Hold tight to God, your God, just as you've done up to now.

Thank you God for that.....so I am holding strong and steady in my path...not leaning to the right or to the left. Not worshiping any other Gods (food, distrust, ect....) My prayers will continue and my steadfast belief that God is working with me will comfort me. I love it!

My fasting is going great! I am beginning to look at sweets and bread and think "yum!" But I stay strong to my path!!

Malto Meal
Black Bean Soup
Baked Sweet Potato
Green salad
Asparagus
FF ranch dressing
banana
apple

To say the least......these last few days have been action packed and crazy stressful! Funerals are never easy, and relatives can and do make them much harder at times.

Louie's service was Saturday afternoon and Katharyn and I traveled over to Kerrville to meet Mike. Sunday morning we then drove further west to Junction to spread Louie's ashes over that beautiful cliff on the Johnson Fork Creek. It really was wonderful and fascinating for me to think that part of him will always be watching that creek drift by. It's very wild there, but he's safe and content high above the world. I envy him.

Louie's daughter Pat, has and still does haunt us. She raised quite a ruckus during his whole illness and his death will always be shadowed by her cruelty. How could someone be so mean-spirited and hateful?

Mike is home and doing well...........he wrestled all night as to whether he would go in to work. But he did......it will do him well. Nucor is currently a very boring place to be, I understand him not wanting to return. My prayers are still with him, however I wonder if I am praying for the right cause? I pray for God's will, and some enlightenment as to exactly what I should be praying for....me or Mike. Both need fixing for sure. God will let me know.

My fasting is still very well and on track even though I am starving today. I was able to sustain myself this weekend with canned soup, and trail mix! But I did it...no meat, no bread, and no sweets. Go Me! I did realize that right after this fast begins Lent season......Ugh! No more weight loss this week.....too much trail mix!

Beth Moore was asking us to see Jesus as this terrifically "holy" being. More so that our wildest imagination can allow. Such a fresh prospective! To really see Jesus as this brilliantly white, bright being of love and kindness. Inviting us to him saying "Do not be afraid!" There is nothing to fear.....He is our Lord.

Lots of trail mix, then more of the same.
Charlene

Today was rift with drama from Kerrville. I heard the tension and anger in Mike's voice and wished I could have been there for some comfort. Not really.....I was glad to be in East Texas and let him vent on others. This all needs to be over...no more surprise...no more trauma! When families don't work together things get awful. I saw it in my mother's death and funeral and I'll see it in my dad's. It just seems to bring out the very worst in everyone.

The fast is going wonderfully. I should have done this no meat, no bread, and no sweets thing a long time ago. I feel great!! I do get hungry before lunch and before supper, but not much more. I'm doing really really well!! I will be out of my element this weekend and I'm anxious to see how well I do. I am completely committed to not eating bread, meat, or sweets, so I am pretty confident. And of course that is the devils playground, so I will be on guard! I'll post Sunday or Monday and give you all the updates.

My prayers are for our trip and for the services tomorrow. Also for Mike's brother and sister, simply because they aren't my favorite people and I need to forgive them. Only God knows their hearts and he can deal with them at His will. It's not for me to judge. Thank you Lord for the ability to know your love and to treat others kindly as you ask!

Malto Meal
Baked Sweet Potato
Black Bean Soup
Banana
Green Salad
Steamed Asparagus

Friday is finally here. It seems as though this week has dragged by. Much has happened.

Mike and Chris left for Kerrville, and they were able to find out when Louie's service was. And Katharyn and I can be there. They changed it to 3:30 on Saturday. That gives us plenty of time to get there. I'm so proud of her for standing up for what she wants.

There was a lot of relief after Mike left. He was very moody and although I didn't confront him, I felt the tension in the house. It was good to leave and go to work everyday. He can be very unsettling.....one minute he's fine and the very next he's angry. Glad he left!

So I pray for peace in his soul these next few days. That he can feel some sort of contentment and comfort knowing his dad is no longer in pain. Louie's own children will not even attend the service.......their indifference though this whole affair had to cause him pain. From the time he got sick, they just forgot about him, and wanted to put him in a nursing home. Thanks to Jack and Debbie..........he didn't have to die there. He was among those who really cared.
I will pray for Pat and Ed and ask God to be in their hearts this week. and I hope it's not up to me to decide where Ed will die!

So tomorrow starts a whole new game in my fasting. Traveling to Debbie's house and eating someone's else meals. Possibly even a restaurant. Hope they have salad! God of course is traveling with us, so I'll have Him to back me up in a tight situation!

I love you Lord!
Charlene

Malto meal
banana
Black Bean Soup
Baked Sweet Potato
Green Salad
FF dressing
Steamed Aspargus
This was for Thursday - I'll post Friday's later - hopefully

There are many needs in our small town. A church member seriously ill, one other passed away, some friends lost their mom and dad inside 2 weeks. Very strange and unsettling. Leaving lots to be in prayer for.
Louie's memorial services has tentatively been set for Friday, but I can't leave the pharmacy, so Katharyn and I won't be able to make it. Katharyn really wanted to go. It was after all her grandfather and she loved him. So she made a plea to her dad that the service be Saturday when we could make it. I backed her up since two of his own children wouldn't even come......why couldn't they make sure she got there. It made sense to me and I was very proud of her. Standing up to her dad at this time wasn't easy and I thought she was quite brave and genuine! So the service may be Saturday!!
My fasting has been fairly easy..............and I know by saying that, that the devil is laughing behind the next door. If I am to be away this weekend........this could go awry!! However I have an adversary in this game and He doesn't ever leave me! I can count on Him whenever I have a doubt. He is my yesterday, today and tomorrow!! Today I didn't get very hungry at all and I didn't cheat......I fixed a black bean soup for my lunches , and it taste great! Not sure it beats my split pea soup, but I think I need a little change.
There still has been no dizziness, and it still amazes me. I am not eating many calories and by history should be weak and starving. But it hasn't hit me. I feel great and have lots of energy, it's so cool! I am liking this vegan thing. Daniel you had it goin' on!

Malto Meal
split pea soup
banana
apple 3/4
small amount black bean soup
Green Salad
Baked Sweet Potato
FF ranch dressing

Louie Goosmann died this morning. Very Sad, almost like an era has left us. Such men as Louie are not easy to find anymore. We are sad that our future doesn't include him anymore.

As my first night of Bible study concluded I focused more on my prayer life and the substance of my fasting. The closeness I have felt to God is so reassuring, for so long I have felt far from Him. He hasn't gone anywhere, He is the same yesterday, today and all the tomorrows to come. I Love Him.

My fasting had challenges. Very hungry and a little bored at work. That leads to snacking and really watching the clock waiting for noon when I can eat. I made it clean and had my banana after work with some leftover sunflower seeds. But supper needed to be early and at 5:15 ate my sweet potato. At least Mike isn't minding me doing this. If I had to fight him it would be difficult. After 2 years of serious dieting he is used to my eating differently than he and Katharyn. But I am loving this no meat thing. My teeth hurt for some reason.....but other than that I feel good. A aggaivating headache has bothered me, and I think it's from the lack of sweets and the toxins leaving my body. But it also could be menopause, or sinuses, or the weather, or stress...............we could just blame this headache on anything.........so I just take Tylenol!

Teresa will be gone Thursday and Friday and I won't have Mike to help with Katharyn after school.............speaking of stress. Mike and Chris will go on to Kerrville without us......not sure that's bad........but I would like to be there for him. He loved his Dad. But Louie's memorial service has not been announced yet.

May the traveling angels be with Mike and Chris tomorrow on their way to Kerrville.

Charlene

Quite an interesting day.......went to Houston to have the van worked on......stayed there 30 minutes.......drove back home........went to a new bible study in town......finally got home again for the last time. I did great on my fasting. McDonald's has salad and if you don't get the chicken they are much cheaper!!
On the way home I needed to snack on something, so I got some trail mix that had no bread, chips or sugar!! Just nuts and fruit. It was delicious and even thought the points were higher, I still didn't go over my 20 daily points.

Also, before leaving I ran into the gym and weighed. Since it was Monday and all.....and I had lost 2 more pounds!!! Yeah Go me!! So that is 5 in all since January 4th!

I am loving this fasting business. God has really released some energy in me. My prayers are there for Mike and for the Haitians. Jack, Debbi, and Louie also get covered with prayers. Louie may not make it much longer. He is not awake and they have brought the priest in for last rites.
Mike and Chris did get home and plan to work as much as possible until they have to go back. Everything will work out!

Malto meal
McDonald's salad (no meat)
Trail Mix
Banana
V-8 Juice

So glad to be in church today. I felt uplifted and prayerful. The choir sang a beautiful Aleluya song and the preacher has a special "group" pray for the tragedy in Haiti. It was really moving! Then home to eat lunch and clean a little more for the folks coming to see the house.

Got everything done and out of the house at 3:45. Washed the van and went to Lissa's to hide out. Ya' Know I visit with Annette a lot, but Marsha and Lissa (even though they are closer) hardly seem to cross paths with us. Marsha's house is not accessible and she wouldn't even come out here, and Lissa and I just don't seen to have anything much in common. I miss them though. Maybe if the house does sell, we could be together more. They mean the most to me and I love them.

Mike is still in Kerrville with his Dad. He will return tomorrow, but I expect to only go back in his truck. His Dad won't make it much longer, maybe not even until tomorrow. I feel very sad for all of them there, Mike, Chris, Debbi, and Jack. Louie is in a spirit world, and they are having the hard job of waiting for him to die. It's so very sad. There may not even be a memorial service for this man. His children are very cold and hard hearted. Please God keep from such horrid outcomes. Let love - Your love - be the guide, not hatred and indifference. What went wrong that Louie's children are so callous and uncaring what happens to their dad? And thank you God for sparing me from such heartlessness!

The fast is still going great! Lissa had some bar cookies, but I didn't even want any! Go me! Tomorrow we go to Houston to have the van checked out, and finding fast food that doesn't include meat, bread, or sweets will be a challenge. My God and I are ready. I pray for the traveling angels to go with us, also to be with Mike on his return home.

The folks who looked at our house might make an offer on it.......we may be in business of complicating things!

Malto Meal
Split Pea Soup
Banana
Baked Sweet Potato
Green Salad
V-8 Juice

Raining! Very Rainy Saturday! Good thing I have a lot to do inside. Katharyn is a little funky about it, but we'll be busy.

Got to visit Jay and Erika Roberson's new little baby girl and I was completely taken aback by the miracle of birth and life!! Our God is so wonderful to create something so perfect and beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. The parents were so proud.

Stayed busy and got some things done.....not all of what I thought was needed. Put some time in to ride the bike with Katharyn.

Mike is in Kerrville with Louis. He is not doing well at all. It seems he stayed up until Mike and Chris got there and they visited. This morning he would not wake up, and has stayed comatose all day. Mike is very concerned, but I am so glad he is there. It's the hardest thing to do.......but the most important. I hate it for him.

During the off days....Katharyn and I like to make cookies.....couldn't find the recipe.....disappointed my child and we didn't make anything. Ugh! But I did stay away from sweets and bread today. At Jay's house they had all kinds of food, it was a little hard......but I resisted! I am to be admired!!

Malto Meal
Split Pea Soup
Banana
Baked Sweet potato
Green salad
FF dressing.

Maybe it's the fast, or the prayer......but I feel so wonderfully close to my Lord!! Such Jubilation has not been with me in quite some time and I welcome it!
I know a lot of my worry is my own doing, and I struggle to keep my eyes and mind open, making sure that at least, I try to see every side of an issue before I blow up! Things usually have a way of working out on their own, and praying can really help your outlook. For months I have been depressed and feeling like I had no way out of this rut I'm in. But now something has replace the sadness.......it has to be the diet and the exagerated prayer. When I'm depressed no prayer is norm. And for the last 2 months I have eaten everything in sight, especially sweets. Now that my body has had a chance to detox from the sweets, it feels GREAT! My mood is light and not near as heavy and forlorn. I feel Good!! You don't need those sweets, just eat right and pray!!
A weekend looms in front of me, but Mike is out of town, and Katharyn and I have plenty to do to keep busy. Sticking to the diet will be easy......well sort of.
A couple is coming to look at our house for the second time!! Woo-Hoo! Let's get this house sold and really complicate things! I'm ready.

Malto Meal
Split pea soup
Baked Sweet Potato
Green Salad
FF dressing

Today started my 21 day fast. I started out praying for Mike and this fasting. God will help to keep me on track.
We are getting to get our own groceries tomorrow, Woo Hoo! Mike is visiting his Dad in Kerrville. So we will get all kinds of yummy fruit and veggies!! Katharyn cringes!
I have not been weak, or even had that "out of energy" feeling since starting this journey January 4th. That split pea soup has all I need. I love it! I may get tired of it later, but I'm sure God will put something else yummy in my path. It's just so cheap and good and makes me feel so FULL. That is the best.
Gym workout went well. Again I made up killer quad exercises to leave me hardly able to walk out to the van. Go Me!!
OK one more time.

Malto Meal
Split Pea Soup
Banana
ONE LARGE BAKED SWEET POTATO
Salad
FF dressing

Be Back Friday

Have I told you about the Pie? Really? Well, for Mike's birthday party, my sweet sister-in-law baked him a beautiful and delicious pecan pie. Now I did eat some of this pie that day, however, we bought half a pie home. Being Chris' favorite pie, I ask him to take the pie home with him. But he forgot it, so I offered it to Mike to take it to work. Mike didn't take it, thinking that Chris would be back for the pie! This pie calls out my name every time I open the fridge door. I open the door and PIE is there. Isn't there anything I can do. If I take it to work, then Teresa and Misty will snack a little on it (I hate them - I've told you that) and I'll have to bring it back home......riding to work, looking at it at work, and riding back home with this Pie!! Is there no mercy in this world? Last night I was even trying to justify eating some.........I wouldn't eat the crust(no bread), and the nuts would be nutricious (somewhat), it's just that SWEET part in between that would get me! Just one bite and half the pie would be gone. I haven't touched it (except to move it in and out of the fridge). I am to be admired.

Tomorrow starts a 14 day fast. Fasting has been a practice since the beginning of Christianity. And I strongly believe in cleansing yourself, as well as the sacrificial offering to my God. In this fast I am praying for my husband, hoping God will see his goodness and offer him a better way of life, where he will be more a part of our family. I want him in church too! I'm doing what's called a "Daniel" fast. No meat, no bread, no sweets. Just lots of fluid, veggies, and fruit. I can do this!! So for 14 days I also will post on my prayer journey, and my fast journey. Wish me well.

I have been HUNGRY all day. This evening after I ate my baked sweet potato and salad -I even added some sauteed veggies from the quesadillas, I was still very hungry!! Time to go to bed soon - I think I will make it. Mike has some yummy smelling chicken gumbo in there.....really wanted it! I am to be admired.

The gym is going well - almost killed myself with abs today! Why do I go in there, use exercises that aren't in any book, don't have any help or trainer, and wear myself out to the point that I almost can't walk out. Good Work out HUH??

Malto Meal
Split Pea Soup
Sweet Potato
green Salad
Sauteed Veggies w/butter
Banana

So very hard to get out of bed today!! Got up late, rushed through my shower, waited until later to put on make-up, got Katharyn up, dressed and fed, rushed to crank the van, finish my make-up and dress. Got Katharyn's teeth brushed, face washed, and all packed up. Hurried out to the van, backed out of the carport and Ola! We are 5 minutes early!! How did that happen? Crazy morning.

At the gym I weighed just to make myself feel a little better and I had lost another pound. I didn't post it on Weight Watchers until I weigh in next Monday. With enough water, even all those brownies I had Sunday didn't stand a chance. I'm getting pretty good at the not snacking thing at work. Man between November and December those snacks there didn't stand a chance. Now I have been worried that they will mildew setting over there. How Teresa and Misty can just walk by them.............I have NO clue! Wish I could just not notice them there. But I have not had any!! Good for me!

The running thing is still......well........just a thing! Can't get motivated to get out there! It's weird really. I was so focused on running, and then well........I'm not!

The weights are doing there job and I really like a fast 20 minutes workout. Monday - static quads, Tuesday - static arms, Wednesday - abs, Thursday - fast quads, and Friday - fast arms.
That should do it for awhile.

Malto - Meal
Split Pea Soup
Banana
Baked Sweet Potato
Green salad w/FF dressing

Blessings are your reward for pleasing God - Charlene

Well Like I said......"it would be a miracle if I got through this weekend." And I didn't!!

Oh well another week another miracle!! But Alas!, I lost 2 pounds!! Go me!

Mike's birthday party was a success. Very cold outside, but he seemed to really enjoy the showdown part. We plan on having another. Not another Surprise birthday party, but another showdown. The surprise part was NO fun. And here why.

1. You can't keep anything from my husband. I don't know how he figures things out. It's just something he has always been able to do.


2. Just to get me all worried......he tells me something to make me think he's gonna screw everything up. He doesn't, but he wants you to think it's not going to work.


3. You never know with him whether he is going to really like something or just play along with you and act like he likes it.

So with that being said............I'm glad the suspense is over. And I'm very happy to say that he had a really good time.

Now I did mention food right. There would be a lot of food there? I was right! Quesadillas, Enchaladas, rice, beans, guacamole, pica de gallo, chips, pies, brownies, cookies, and drinks! I did OK Saturday, but Sunday, I felt the need to clean out everything. I just did it for 1 meal, but I put some hurt on some brownies. Let me tell you. Sauturday I didn't touch anything but a piece of pie...............but Sunday was a different matter. If it was "relief eating" I was terrible relived!! So I didn't eat anything else Sunday.

Even so I had lost 2 pounds, and next week (if I can get through the weekend) maybe another 2 will come off.

My time at the gym this morning was good. Got in a decent quad workout, and I'm hoping not to be sore. Last week the soreness didn't last very long. Maybe it's the split pea soup and all the extra protien from it. I never have been able to eat enough meat to keep the protein levels up. So the soup may be the answer.

I need to reanalyze why I'm not running.......................beside the fact that I don't want too! I'll work on that.

Train the mind and the Body follows........

Charlene

Ok, If I make it through this weekend and stick to any sort of eating schedule or calories.....well it will be a miracle.

Katharyn has a friend over tonight and they are making cookies! Oh my gosh!! There is no way I'll survive that. Then tomorrow the Birthday Party Showdown. Food Food Food Galore. That is all it's about right!! There will be cake, cookies, pie, Bailey's for your coffee, spiced tea.....and I've ordered Peach liqueur! Ya know to keep us warm!! It'll be a killer! But I'm gonna be brave and head into it with the attitude of no meat, no bread, no sweets. God help me!!1

Today I got really munchie at work, and chocolate was available. But fortunately the phone kept me busy, and I had lots to do. I don't think I would have crumbled, but it was tempting especially because it was there. Calling my Name....!!! Shear Torment!!!

So I'm gonna make my cookies, and settle for a baked sweet potato! I'm to be admired!!

Very cold still here - the temp has not even risen above freezing today! Very Cold Here!!

Malto Meal
split pea soup
banana
baked sweet potato
green salad
ff italian

I no longer worship at the altar of fast weight loss!
Charlene

Today has been a difficult day. A lot of the frustration is from PMS! Can't seem to help that......I have been getting really really upset over small things. And BIG things have happened today.

1. The pharmacy was broken into again. The thieves didn't find what they wanted. They will be back in the daytime with guns..........I feel sure of this.
   
2. The local police are doing Nothing!!
3. A lady wanted her Rx delivered because it was too cold for her to get out and her son left this morning with her car and now she didn't have ride.........she lived right around the corner...........she didn't mind us getting cold......why didn't her sorry A son come and pick up her RX......it had been at the pharmacy for 2 days.
4. A recent divorced women called in a script for "Cialis" for her ex-husband. Hum-m-m-m

These sort of things really have bothered me today. Plus - I'm really hungry! Maybe it's the lack of meat....bread.....sweets.....or all of the above, but I'm a little sensitive.
My soreness has eased up considerably and I feel normal again. Worked out on quads this morning, without weights.....a good workout too! But now that I am home I feel the need to snack. I had my banana, and it was very good......now I'm starting my supper a little early hoping to ward off those evil snacking monsters.
Check out the photos of our fire. It is very cold outside and going to get much colder by the morning. Like in the 15 degree range. Br-r-r-r-r My pets are bunkered down and we have lots of wood by the fireplace. Hope our pipes hold out!!!
Malto meal
Split pea soup
banana
Baked Sweet Potato
Green Salad
FF Italian dressing

Ok, so I missed blogging for one day......this discipline thing is hard for me!

Plus my body has been invaded by aliens..........at least that is what I feel like after 2 days in the gym. A very old decreped alien!! I can't stand up...I can't sit down.....and I feel like parts of me will break when my knees bend. This is what happens when you miss 3 months at the gym. How can I have allowed this to happen!!! Woe is Me!!

However the diet part is going well and I have stayed busy and not snacked, and haven't been too hungry yet! We will see how we do.

Malto meal
Split pea soup
Sweet potato, baked
Green Salad w/FF dressing
banana

Well ya know how much easier it is to start things on Monday?? So that is why I waited until today to start this 1 year - 24 pounds - get healthier blogging journey. And yes it will be 24 pounds......hadn't weighed lately and today they weren't very kind at all!!

But I feel very fortified to my goal!! I signed up on Weight Watchers...again....I hate that! But "low and behold" they gave me to more points than they gave me last time. Can you Believe it?? Now I get a whole 20 points to eat all day! That is a great improvement from the 18 that they had me on last time!! Not sure about the difference.....not gonna question it either!

I even remembered how to get in to the gym. Before work I lifted a few weights around and lunged my way into some fairly sore muscles already. Right now the schedule is arm and leg weights on Monday, Wednesday, Fridays, then abs and back on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Trying to run........not working.....not good at all! Will get back to it, however it is going to be very cold this week. I'll keep you posted on this blog.

The hunger right now is manageable.....I have to stop eating so much.....tomorrow it will be worse!! We were very busy at work and that really helped. The snacking monster was held at bay. I'll be stronger and more powerful by Tuesday!

malto-meal
coffee
split pea soup
banana
baked sweet potato
green salad w/FF italian dressing

Ok so if I plan on blogging my way through 2010, and documented my struggle to loose 20 pounds I should start like.....now!

2 years ago I began a journey to loose weight, but also to get healthier! I turned 50 that year and something had to change. I worked very, very, very HARD all year and lost 23 pounds!! Go Me!! But for some reason(I have no idea how) my resolve during the next year slipped a little. I still got all my exercising done...running 15 miles a week.....in the gym working with weights and pilates 5 days a week.....and counting all my points. Yet I couldn't loose another pound!! By Spring I was up 3 pounds. Summer it was 5, then 2 more that fall. Now I have to start over again. All the weight didn't come back on, but I now have to fight hard to start the loosing process all over again.

I can't snack!!!! That was one of the problems. Coming home from work and fooling myself by saying just a few chips were ok and or 1 piece of candy. There is just NO stopping at 1!! And at work too. There are always snacks. Either in the candy jar, or chips, crackers.......lots of snacks, and when we aren't busy..............I get bored.............I head for the snacks. They are only a few feet away from me and they call my name all day long......"here piggy."

So there 3 meals a day. Low fat, Higher protein, filling. Need to get 2 fuits, 5 veggies, and some whole grain. I know how to eat. I don't like spending a lot of time fixing my meal, and I don't like buying lunches. Mike cooks a lot and his food isn't always what I need to eat, but he doesn't get his feeling hurt if I pass on his selections.....well not anymore anyway!

Therefore, I begin a journey into my brain, and find a path to change the detrimental aspects of my eating disorders. I plan to loose at least 20 pounds by next year continuing my exercise and weights and achieving this goal before I get too old to care!

Happy New Year
Charlene